As parents, we spend a lot of time correcting our children’s behaviour or demanding their compliance.
Listen to yourself for a day and you’ll appreciate how negative most of our communication is!
Children are in the process of developing their self-concept and deciding about their self-esteem, worth and lovability. Children look for external validation from their parents to determine their sense of worth.
So, while we have a habit of pointing out what needs to be corrected, we can choose to shift our focus onto our children’s strengths and what they are doing right instead. Rather than “don’t interrupt”, you could say “thanks for being patient while I talked to your dad”. Instead of saying “don’t eat with your hands, use your cutlery”, you could say, “your table manners make it very enjoyable to eat with you!”
How can we find more ways to share with our children that we love them, we are thinking about them, we appreciate them, we value them? To focus on what is right and “good,” instead of what is bad and in need of repair? YES!
I recommend parents harness the power of THE LOVE NOTE. If communication isn’t your strong suite, or it sounds out of character for you to be talking all glowing, why not pick up a pad of Post-it® Notes and use the small block format to jot a quick one-liner that does the trick, and adds fun and excitement for your child.
A Post-it® Note on the mirror that says, “may the floss be with you, Luke”, is far more likely to get kids flossing than our nagging.
The best part of writing little Post-it® Note love messages? You start to get them back! Check your brief case!